D3 body, D1 cock
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
