the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
