he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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