turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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