that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
