His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
