they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize