I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize