i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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