38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
