When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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