His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
