i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
