just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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