So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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