he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
