Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
