i dont even know how to be here
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
