On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
