i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
