Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
