Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
