she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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