I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Randomize