I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
