I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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