You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
