Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Its about making memories worth repressing
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
