At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
