Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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