my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
