yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
In America we eat man semen.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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