Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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