Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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