You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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