yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
