She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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