so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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