What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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