Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
