I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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