if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
