I got chris browned last night
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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