So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
