can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
