i may or may not be watching the land before time
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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