You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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