I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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