Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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