i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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