Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize