Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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