He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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