i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
