He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
