He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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