The maid of honor just puked.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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