he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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